Before the Dawn
by angst witch
Summary: He left his lover because he's unsure of how to love... can they have turn back time and try again? Couple revealed about halfway through :P SHOUNEN AI warning!


                Konnichiwa minna-san! Here's a little Gundam Wing romance/angst. (Notice that's all I ever write… *sighs and shakes fist at angst muse*) No names are mentioned until the very end, so if you want to send me a message telling me whether you guessed it or not, please do! ^_^ 

                Also, the title might change… if I think of a better one later. Don't hesitate to send me ideas! 

Oh yes, disclaimer… *sigh* Gundam Wing and all its characters do NOT belong to me. (*sigh* How I'd love to own them… especially Shini-chan! *glomps*)

Before the Dawn

The night is always the darkest before the dawn. 

A young boy looked out the open window, slightly shivering from the cold autumn breeze. His icy blue eyes, shining through his dark brown mess of hair, were clouded with confusion, regret, love, and pain. He was about to make the decision he instinctively feels he's going to regret_. It was my own decision_, he kept reminding himself, _I decided on this path… it's better this way, at least he won't be hurt anymore than necessary. If I leave like this, he'll hate me, which is for the best. But… he's never going to understand, knowing how he is… he would refuse to see  that I'm leaving for our sake…_

The boy took out the letter he had rewritten so many times, crumbled for not saying what he wanted to say, and thrown out for his tearstains showed on it. Now, the folded sheet lay on the shadowed desk, a piece of light against the darkness. The boy unfolded it and read it silently to himself.

Then, with trembling fingers, he folded the letter back together and placed it in the middle of the desk. He took one last look around at the beautiful figure on the bed. Then, with a silent sigh, he left, slipping out of their house in silence with catlike grace. 

All the while, his lover is lying in bed, tangled up in between the sheets with chestnut hair cascading over the bed, murmuring, "Ai shiteru… don't leave me." 

The letter fluttered to the ground as a gust of wind came by, and it unfolded, revealing its contents:

_Dear Duo,_

_When you are reading this letter, I will be gone for a long time already. Do not bother looking for me, as I do not wish to be found. Please don't worry, as I am very safe. Also, PLEASE do not have a tantrum with Relena, as this has absolutely nothing to do with her._

_I am leaving because I can't deal with us anymore. I'm not even sure if I can really love; even if I can, how would I know that I really love you? I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I want to do._

_You've done everything you could for me, and I appreciate all of it, more than you would ever know. You've proven that you love me for who I am, once and again. You've saved my life, cheered me up, persistently insisted I eat and sleep like a normal human being, and stayed up late telling me jokes while I finished my reports. We also celebrated our first Christmas together, remember? That was the first happy moment of my life. _

_We've been through everything together, side by side. Duo, you're easily my most cherished friend and I would risk my life for you, but I don't know if this is love. I don't know whether I'm capable of that emotion, and I'm afraid I might be mistaking something else for it and result in hurting us both._

_I don't think I really love you… I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything anymore._

_One thing I do know, however, is that I won't be back. I don't know if I'm making the right decision or the biggest mistake of my life, but life goes on, and we can only go ahead. This is the best way, Duo. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to lead you on without being sure of my own feelings, and end up tormenting us both. _

_So here I am, leaving… try to forget me, will you, Duo? Make it easier for yourself. I know I'll try to forget. _

_My best wishes as always, dearest Duo. Maybe we'll meet again, somewhere, someday… if fate wants us to. _

Heero 

That morning, Duo awoke with a smile on his face. That is, until he noticed his lover gone and the sheet on the floor in the middle of the room. After reading the letter, Duo nearly collapsed… it was as if the sky had just fallen in his perfect world. 

Heero had given up everything they shared because he was not sure whether the Perfect Soldier could really love. What Heero didn't know that Duo would hurt so much more, now that he has left.  

_Heero… how would you know how I feel? _Duo thought as he slid to the floor, clutching the letter, his death sentence, to his chest. _We would have been so much happier without the truth… you could have kept lying to me… I wouldn't have known._

On that chilly autumn morning, Duo Maxwell, self-proclaimed Shinigami, cried for the first time in 10 years. __

Duo: O.o you made me cry?! Why you… *makes gestures involving one certain finger*

Heero: -_- Omae o korosu. *pulls gun out of Spandex Shorts*

Me: Uh-huh, great.  *sigh* Now I actually feel bad. I always feel bad when I exercise my omnipotent authoress powers :P But please, I'd still like reviews! Love it? Hate it? DROP ME A MSG!

*Carrie-chan*


End file.
